The Shift

It happened between missions of all things. At least the small hints that I was... different. I was working out against a tree trunk in my safehouse. Thank whatever's out there my warehouse loft is soundproof! I went to hit the log with my hand and there were claws. CLAWS! Left gouges in my practice dummy stump. I think I stood there for like twenty minutes just letting that shocking moment sink in before reacting. I needed a stiff drink.

More small things happened here and there on missions throughout the tail end of 2009 and all through 2010.

The drastic event occurred on a mission. I was in a fight to get out of a building unseen. I leapt off the balcony into a river and came up as... a cat. A big cat. A clouded leopard. After some research... it turns out that I am actually fairly small among the big cats. What a let down. Anyways, my first handler was in his expected waiting place waiting for me. I was not sure why or how I changed. How was that even possible?! Somehow, he still spotted me and as if this did not remotely surprise him, told me to get my ass in the dingy.

It was quite the education after that. We retreated to my safehouse after he walked me through how to get back to human... and thankfully giving me replacement clothing. You know those stories about shifters that tear through their clothes? Well, it is all true. And totally humiliating.

I sat and listened for days, even weeks through the winter. This was all fascinating! I used to dream of being something like this as a kid. I learned what he could teach me, though he was slightly different than I. My people are apparently rare... as rare and endangered as the cat I became. He was black... like any other panther. We were distant cousins as far as cat breeds go. Oh wait, my breed is actually homid. Means I was born human. My tribe is Bagheera which include all leopards (black panthers, leopards, clouded leopards, and snow leopards). I learned how to shift form at will, how to use my claws. Pardon while I smile to myself as I note that I have built in blades that cannot be confiscated. And now I have a new-found distaste for people who declaw their cats. Yeah, he described that to me in detail. What a horrible thing to do! Look who just talked, and I kill for a living. I learned how to dislocate any joint to get into or out of hard places or to escape when I must. As long as my head fits, I can fit. Hurts like hell though. I learned how my strange little talents that make me so useful to the CIA are natural to who and what I am. I discovered that I can lick a wound and heal it. He couldn't do that, but described to me that it could be done.

I learned more secretive things. Secrets, what lovely intriguing bits of information that I will never ever forget. He taught me how to perform rituals, or rites rather. The most useful of which was the Rite of Dedication. I will never end up naked again when I shift. And I will always have one or more good blades on me and the gun I have been issued. It is real hard to explain to your superiors in the report session why and how you lost your gun without them thinking you are crazy or sending you to a lab for the abnormal monster they think you are. That was a Kuasha rite that one of dedicating. Naming is another. He performed the rite of naming on me to reaffirm my name to my spirit. I was a bit too caught up in the fascination of the ceremony to actually remember it enough to perform it myself. He then told me to never use that name and forget it if I can. HA! Telling a guy with a photographic memory to forget something! Funny. DICK. He did teach me two other rites he called Moon Rites. One was called Warding where I can protect a space. It seemed very Wiccan to me. Wicca being a modern religion that honors the earth and uses magic. Yes... I am a Wiccan Warrior. If you repeat that, I will kill you. Really. I will. This Warding Rite summons guardian spirits into the four corners of a space, charges the space as sacred and safe, acts as a kind of magical alarm system, blocks minor invasions and warns me of big ones. Handy. Yup, you can be damned sure I warded my safehouse, also called a den. I still can't get used to calling it a den. The other is the Rite of Claiming. I can declare a place as MINE, as in my den, or move my den and all the weird magic that is part of it being a den.

On the subject of dens, I learned how amazing my den is. I learned about the Umbra and the Gauntlet. I can't actually get into that astral place except in my den. There I can step in or simply peek in anytime.I can sense anything in my space. I can find my way to my safehouse from anywhere no matter my state. I can skip from place to place in my den as if I were teleporting. I did that for a whole day like a kid just finding all the places I could land without falling or smacking into a wall. Been there and done that on both accounts. I can also take pride in my pride space as he said. A pride is like a pack or a team or... a family. Taking pride in my pride space means I can seal off the Gauntlet from anyone cross into or from the Umbra within my safehouse. I can also take anyone who I deem part of my pride or group through the Gauntlet into the Umbra from my safehouse.

The last things I learned were the Karoush Litany, the Code of Honor, and my tribe's Yava.

Karoush Litany:
This is the Code of our Ancestors made,
This is the Law of the Moon and the Sun,
This is the Law of the Shapeshifting Secrets,
This is the Law of the Change.

Honor yourself. (stay clean or purify)
Honor your word. (be truthful or pay restitutions)
Honor your kin and kind. (remain just or be outcast)
Honor your Earth. (remain fierce or die)
Honor your silence. (silence or death)

Code of Honor:
I shall be bound by my word,
I shall act with good grace,
I shall govern my tongue,
And defend those like myself.

The tribe's Yava are secrets of the very Tribe itself. Our banes and weaknesses. WOW did they explain a lot! New Moons are the nights we sleep hard and cannot be woken unless there is actual violence to us. We will be like stupid scent dogs and follow a trail of salt from end to end without stopping. Why?! And any hunted prey that has received the Blessing of Aabhaya will be protected from us. That is at least something I have never encountered and doubt I ever will. Who is Aabhaya anyways?

I wanted to learn more, had so many questions. If there are others, where are they? Why didn't anyone tell me about all this before? Why are we like this? What is our full history? Are there other kinds of shapeshifters? Do vampires and werewolves exist too? What about kitsune from Japan? Yes... I read Manga... What other rituals can I learn? Is there something I am supposed to be doing?

I never got those questions answered as he turned up floating in the river with a bullet in his head in the spring of 2011.

I have had different handlers since. None were like him. I have told none of them what I am. The hair keeps raising on my neck warning me to keep silent. So I do. I trusted my other handler. I don't trust these new ones so much.